Thursday, March 8, 2012

What's The Big Deal in Joining a Guy on a Table Inside a Bar?

 Dear Mirriam and James,

I am a young, pretty and a decent girl although I work in a bar in the Philippines.  We have a husband and wife customers who frequent the bar and one night the wife complained to the bar owner, telling her that she (the wife) was disappointed in me, and does not like me to share a table with her husband.

You see it happened like this:  The husband and wife always come to our bar to listen to the music and they always occupy the same table.  Lately, the wife  joined the table of her woman friend who also went there with her fiance.  Her husband was left alone on their table, although he was sitting side by side with the fiance of the wife's friend and they were also chatting.   I decided to sit where his wife always sat before she joined her friend, and according to the wife,  "I shared her  husband's table".  That night I noticed that the wife was looking  at me, but I know I was not doing anything bad so I did not budge in my seat, I am innocent!  I noticed that the husband looked at me now and then and my co workers in the bar started to tease me. After a while the husband transferred seat and joined his wife on the other table.  The next day, she sent a CP text message to the bar owner, told  her that she was disappointed  with me.  What's the big deal with that, I just sat there, never asked for a drink from the husband, never even said hello, etc.  I was just talking to my other co-workers in the bar.  I think the wife is over the top and arrogant, so when they came back I frowned at her to show her that I was pissed with her.

Pretty Innocent Girl

Dear Pretty,

If I were the wife, I would not have waited for the next day to complain to the bar owner.  Right then and there, I would have approached you and would have put you in your place - standing and serving orders to the customers.  Don't your manager or bar owner teach you that as a worker in a bar, you are not supposed to sit with the customer unless you are invited?   Granting it is true that you did not mean to really join the husband, and you sat there in order to chat with other co-workers, do remember that you are paid to work, not to sit and chat with your co-workers.  And you were audacious enough to "frown" at the wife the next night?  That's bad attitude and your manager or bar owner should teach you how to please not only the male customers but also the wives or girlfriends. The female companions of your male customers are customers too.  It's okay to be playful and flirtatious with male customers, but don't do it  if they are with their girlfriend or wife, however 'innocently' done.


Hello Pretty,

Netanyahu asked this on the TV recently, “If it looks like a duck, if it walks like a duck, if it quacks like a duck, then what is it? Yeah, that’s right, it’s a duck, a nuclear duck".  In this case a bar duck. 

All over the world, any woman, bar worker on not,  who joins a man in a table in a bar is in effect 'inviting' - inviting attention, inviting for offer of ladies' drinks, or maybe inviting 'boom boom' as you call it in Asia. And if the man is with his wife, you are inviting for a threesome!   Who the hell cares if you only sat there in order to talk with another co-worker?  Stop this nonsense about your 'innocence'  and  grow up already.